in the race towards ambition,
what is failure?


‘MERDE’ is a thesis short documentary film from students of Nanyang Technological University’s School of Art, Design and Media.










The concept of having one
‘passion’ that you’re made
to do can be incredibly
daunting, and failing at
that can feel soul-
crushing, especially when
your peers are excelling.

MERDE’ follows three current and former ballerinas who all started from the same ballet studio, but are all in very different places in life now, exploring what ‘failure’ means to them in their relationship with ballet. Comparing our three ballerinas, we explore how that’s shaped them and how they’ve bounced back.


It’s a bittersweet concept, comparing what is versus what could have been if we ‘succeeded’.













the crew







the cast
















“i've always been scared of the 
idea of being without ambition. 
giving up on failed passions, being 
told i'm "wasting time", when I now
know that my failures are what led 
to my place in life now, where what
i'm doing fits my skin properly. i 
hope people can watch this film 
and know that there is no shame in
failing or not being the best.”

- Antonia Winn

Director
Producer

“quoting from one of my
favourite films in recent years,
perfect days, “next time is next
time. now is now.” MERDE is
not just a reminder to stay
present but also a culmination
of years of doubt and
questions that I’ve had of
myself. it is okay if you feel left
behind and i hope through the
lens of this film, it brings
comfort to people.”


- Joanne Leong

Director of Photography
Editor
Co-Producer





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